Tuesday, February 28, 2012

28 Feb 2012: Scene Two- Take 2

Scene Two - Take 2

“There it is,” Ron said as they came down the quiet country road where a small bridge stood before them.
Ben brought the van to a stop about twenty feet short of the crossing, eyeing closely the steel and concrete panels that created the bed of the narrow passage over the mostly dry creek bed below; in a two-ton vehicle, it seemed harmless enough.    His gaze continued on beyond the bridge and down the road about another 100 yards to a small red house that sat to the left; a short-haired black and white dog of medium height and with unknown ancestry stood attentively in the yard with his eyes locked on the stopped van.  Immediately, Ben could feel his pulse quickening and a chill creeping through his skin, both of which he futilely tried to temper with a slow deep breath; he turned and looked at Ron who was still staring at the bridge.
“Let’s go ahead and park,” Ron said.
“Right.”
Ben lifted his foot from the brake and the van moved of its own volition across the bridge; the sound of tires on grate reverberated through the vehicle as it slowly made its way to the other side.  Ben pulled into a dirt road off to the right and maneuvered the van into a position where he could park and lower the ramp on fairly level ground.
“I think this angle will be all right,” he said, more to himself than to Ron.
He looked toward the red house to see if the dog was still there but the trees blocked his view which only seemed to add to his anxiety.  It wasn’t too late to use a trump card and insist a view from the van was sufficient but getting out was really not a good idea.
“Well?” Ron said.
“Yeah. Yeah.” 
The sun was shining, the wind was mild and Ron’s spirits were on the rise.  Ben decided he would have to store the trump card for another day.
He unhooked the straps that held the wheelchair in place, lowered the ramp and turned the wheelchair on.  
“I got it,” Ron said, moving his hand to the joystick.
Maneuvering the chair in the tight confines of the van to align it with the ramp, involved several reverse and forward motions.  The more tired Ron was, the more maneuvering; today, Ben noted, Ron accomplished the task with a minimal amount of moves.  Still, Ben stood at the ready by the ramp in case Ron’s steering was errant as he went down, always prepared to use his heft to heave against the five hundred plus pounds of chair and flesh if it should begin to ride over the rim. 
“Pretty good, huh?” Ron said as he moved flawlessly down the center of the ramp.
“Very good.”
Ben locked up the van and came around to see Ron looking down the dirt road that disappeared into the woods.  A couple of times, while Ron sat and gazed at the hills from his living room, he mentioned that Ben could take him out for a Sunday drive, park, “fall asleep” and let Ron wander down a road to eventually succumb to the elements.
“And, what?” Ben asked.  I just wake up, don’t notice you are gone and drive home?”
“Something like that?”
“You’ll have to come up with a better plan than that.”
Ben watched Ron now for a few seconds from behind trying to gauge if that is where his thoughts were leading him at the moment.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Yep.”
Ron turned and bumped his way along the dirt road to the pavement with Ben walking right alongside, watching Ron’s head bobbing with every bit of gravel the chair rolled over.
“You all right?”
“I will be.”
They reached the asphalt and Ben suddenly remembered about the dog; he glanced toward the red house but the canine was gone.  Ron headed for the bridge and parked his chair in the middle of the road while Ben kept glancing back not only for any approaching vehicles but the missing mutt.  He was taken by surprise when he looked forward and there was motion to the right coming up from the creek bed.  Ben was filled with a mixture of embarrassment and fear and as the dog headed straight for Ron.  On the battlefield in Afghanistan as a medic, he never hesitated to use his body to shield a wounded soldier from incoming, to even race across the land under fire to do so.  But, now, here, in this tranquil, most peaceful of valleys, he froze at the sight of this motley four-legged creature that was zeroing in on them.
“Hey, pooch,” Ron said, extending his hand out to touch the dog’s head.
The dog wagged his long thin white tail and slid his head underneath Ron’s hand.
“Good to see you.”
“Do you know him?”
“Just from when I used to bike ride down here.  He would give me a friendly bark and then run alongside me for a few seconds.”
The dog moved from Ron over to Ben whose past fears of dog still prevented him from being at ease no matter how friendly the pooch was being to him. Ron moved forward, rumbling slowly across the grate leaving him alone with the dog. 
“Hey,” he forced himself to mutter while reaching out to pet the dog’s head. 
Ben watched Ron riding further and further across the bridge and feeling more and more abandoned.  He found him paralyzed and afraid of taking a step, feeling certain that the movement would suddenly cause man’s best friend to lunge for his leg. 
This was ludicrous, he told himself, and to ease his mind, he thought of himself back on the battlefield, under fire.  He took one step, then another, his new companion walking merrily along and filling the gap between Ben and Ron.  By the time Ben had caught up with Ron at the other end of the bridge, the dog was off sniffing the grass where the shoulder met the bridge.
Ron had turned his chair and was facing back to where they just came.  Ben took up a position alongside him and once again resumed his duties of keeping an eye out for cars or trucks.  He glanced at Ron and followed his gaze to the roadbed of the bridge.  Walking over with the dog, he didn’t notice the gap between the metal grates and the concrete panels.  But, now, there it was.  Imperceptibly narrow at their end, the gap widened to just the right amount to trap the wheel of a road bike. 
 “What stupidity.” Ron said.
“What? The construction?”
“No. Me.”
“How can you say that?”
“It’s obvious.  I know this bridge.  I know how dangerous it is.  How could I have let myself get distracted enough to allow a wheel to get trapped in there?”
Ben thought of the possibilities starting with the obvious of a vehicle passing on the bridge at the same time.  Or, the sun in his eyes, like it was now.  Then, of course, there were always dogs, friendly or unfriendly.
“So, no memory jog?”
“No.  Nothing.”
The dog came back over and pushed his nose up against Ron’s hand for attention.
“Hey, boy.”
Ron struggled to pet his head for a few moments, then turned his chair away from the bridge and headed up the road.
“Where are you going?”
“This way.”
Arguing felt futile so Ben followed suit with the dog tagging along.
The road curved gently to their right while also slowly climbing.  Every once in a while, Ron would stop and turn his chair to take in the new perspective of the bridge. 
“You know, we have a van back there,” said Ben.  “We don’t have to walk all the back to town.”
“Who’s walking?” Ron answered.
Ron continued his climb up the road until they reached the elbow of a curve which, if followed, would take them out of view of the bridge.  Ron stopped and turned while Ben kept a very close ear and eye on the blind curve above.
“This was one of my favorite routes.”
“Yeah.  It’s nice.”
“Look at this over here.”
Ron moved over toward the narrow shoulder, which was fine with Ben, and pressed as close as he could get to the guardrail that separated the roadway from the steep slope running down toward the creek.
“I love that bluff.  Even though this was a descent, sometimes I would make a point of stopping to take a look.  After a rain, there is a nice waterfall that runs down.”
While they stood quietly, a hawk flew into view and rode the thermals through the creek valley, soaring to their right then changing directions and swooping low and out of view behind the shrub trees along the creek.

 “What’s that?” Ron asked.
“Where?”
“Down there. In the brush.”
Ben followed Ron’s gaze and caught sight of a glimmering reflection twinkling in the thick stand of creek saplings.
“Looks like some sort of gold chain,” Ron said.
“Hmm.”  Ben wasn’t convinced it was anything so exotic but he was glad it seemed to engage Ron’s interest.  He looked from the dancing light of the object back to the bluff, admiring a cedar whose roots clung tenaciously in a crack in the wall’s face with the trunk turning ninety degrees to grow parallel with the bluff and seeming to defy gravity.
“Why don’t you go check that out,” Ron said.
“What?”
“The chain.”
“You want me to go down there?”
“Yes.”
“Why? Are you missing one?”
“No.  But my interest is piqued.”
“It’s probably nothing more than a fishing lure.”
“Maybe. But, I often picked up some interesting artifacts by stopping and investigating the ordinary.”
Ben thought of the bookcase back at the house that contained an array of objects that indeed made for stimulating conversation pieces.  He took another hard look at the slope on the other side of the guardrail and another look at Ron, still looking intently and eagerly at the object below.
“Even if it is just a fishing lure, maybe it’s a very special handmade one.”
Ben glanced down toward the bridge and back up at the blind curve. 
“Move closer to the rail.”
Ron parked more parallel to the barrier and Ben climbed over, cautiously making his way down the slope.  His heart jumped at the sound of a thump right behind him; Fido had leapt over the rail to join him.  The dog made his way easily back and forth along the grade but, more than once, Ben slipped in the thick grass and landed on his butt.  Sitting and glancing back up, he could not see Ron but only when he stood back up could he spot him.  Ben waved, the most he could see of Ron was a slight tilt of his head.
At the bottom of the slope just before the thicket which contained the priceless treasure, there was an even steeper drop of about two feet.  Ben did not like that this now placed him in a position to only see the top of Ron’s head.  He also didn’t like that intermingled with the river canes was a thick blanket of branches, clumped leaves and other debris deposited from when the creek flooded which made walking feel as if he was stepping stop a large booby-trap.  Even the dog seemed to have trouble navigating the debris pile, though it didn’t seem to curtail his enjoyment of sniffing new terrain. 
“What the hell am I doing down here?” he muttered.
“Ron!”
Ron called back but his voice barely carried.
“I’ll be right there.”
Ron said something else but Ben had no idea what it was.
He looked around for the dangling charm, surprised that he was having trouble spotting it.  Then, he heard a vehicle coming down the hill around the blind curve. He stood quietly, listening until he knew the car had passed then he searched again through the thicket.  A strong gust of wind blew and his holy grail revealed itself, dangling above and only a few feet away.  Because of the hidden drop, from the road, the object did not look to be that far off the ground.  But moving closer, and standing directly underneath, it was just out of reach.  
“Great.”
He wasn’t certain how hard it would be to snare but he was sure it was not a gold chain and merely a fishing lure and not a very unique one at that.  He surveyed the situation knowing that he couldn’t go back empty-handed.  Pulling on one of the thin tree trunks, he managed to bow the branches and the lure within reach, having to give a mighty yank of the fishing line to tear it loose.  Looking at the prize in his palm, and also now seeing the bead of blood that was beginning to emerge from where the line sliced into his hand, he wondered anew about the worth of his trip down.
“I’m coming!” he called up.
He took a quick step back toward the slope and his leg disappeared up to his knee in a tangle of branches.
“Aw, god al…”
From above he could hear another vehicle coming around the blind curve. 
“Insanity.  Just effing insanity.”
He worked to free his leg and gingerly made his way safely through the rest of the thicket.  Getting ready to climb, he spotted the dog pawing hard into the branches after a rat or gopher or some such. 
“Come on,” he called out, not wanting to abandon the dog down there; his new concern surprised even him. 
Ben called to him a couple more times, the dog finally achieving his goal by dragging something out of the woodpile.  He waddled excitedly over to Ben, proudly displaying in his mouth the skeletal remains of a human hand. 

Copyright © 2012 Philip Zweig

28 Feb 2012: Scene One - Take 3

Scene One – Take 3



Ron sat quietly, staring out the large window that stretched across the rear wall of the living room and studied the hills over a mile off in the distance while Ben performed his ritual of lightly tugging and straightening and smoothing out Ron’s pant legs, stopping at times to pick off specks of lint or dust.

Ben kept glancing up, sneaking a look, trying to read Ron’s mostly blank expression.  He knew from his previous experience with working with quadriplegics that depression was normal and suicidal thoughts almost inevitable.  Ron was a different situation from the young veterans he had worked with.  He was older, fifty-five, very well off and more intellectual, though, Ben didn’t know how this last attribute was supposed to make any difference.

Still, the depression worried Ben as all Ron seemed to want to talk about lately were creative ways that he could commit suicide without Ben getting into trouble.  Ben could think of plenty of ways to accomplish the feat but he wasn’t about to share them with Ron.  He knew two buddies from the army who had done themselves in and that was heartbreak enough; as much as someone might want a permanent exit strategy, Ben could not see himself being part of it as the guilt would have been too much to bear. 
 “Is that green coming in?”
Ben looked up and gazed out the window. 
“Where?
“On those hills.”
 “Yes.  The trees are just starting to leaf.”
“That’s what I thought.  I’m having a bit more trouble with colors than usual today.”
Ben looked back at Ron, studied his face that always seemed a bit pale with his deep chestnut brown irises providing the only true color. His thin greying hair only added to the ashen appearance.  His nostrils flared ever so slightly with each breath.  Ben took some comfort, some hope in Ron’s lips that, despite everything, always seemed to have a slight upward tilt at the edges as if suggesting inner peace.  He looked a bit paler today and Ben wasn’t sure if this outing was a good idea or not.
“Did you tell Beth?” Ben asked.
“Tell her what?”
“Where we’re going?”
‘No.”
He kept lightly tugging at Ron’s cashmere sweater and pants, endlessly working him as an excuse to keep stealing looks of his face.  Ben prided himself in his ability to connect, yet the past few days had been exceedingly frustrating. 
“Do you know what kind they are?” Ron asked.
“What?”
“The trees that are turning green.”
Ben looked out the window and paused as if studying one of the newly budding leaflets on a tree that was a mile away.
“I don’t know.  Maybe elms.”
He turned back, picking at a stubborn piece of lint.
“You don’t want to tell her?” Ben asked.
“No. I’d rather not.”
He finished with Ron’s pants then stepped around to the rear of the wheelchair and pulled out a large strap in the sack hanging down. He deftly slipped the band through Ron’s arms, across his chest and secured him to the chair.
Ron coughed slightly, his chest struggling to work the muscles to force a more strenuous expulsion.
“Too tight?”
“No.”
“You know, we don’t have to go today,” Ben said, checking the belt, making certain that the strap had not trapped a fold in the sweater and was pressing against his chest.
He kept an eye on Ron still struggling to get a good cough out as he picked up a fleece blanket from a nearby chair. 
“This going to be enough?”
“I think so.”
Waiting for the coughing spell to subside, he gave Ron’s hair a few strokes with his fingers. A touch of spittle emerged from the corner of Ron’s mouth which Ben took care of with a tissue from the table nearby.
“I don’t know, Ron.”
“Know what?”
“About going.”
 “I’m fine.”
“Now you’re sweating.”
“Am I?”
“I’ll be right back.”
“All right.”
Ron moved his hand to get his fingers in a position to push against the joystick that would move his wheelchair forward.  He kept pushing at the stick but the chair did not move.  He pursed his lips, sighed and looked back out the window. 
Ben returned with a damp washcloth and gently ran it across Ron’s forehead and then over his entire face.  His stout hands matched Ben’s broad and muscular five-ten build; the hands’ dark, deep brown complexion contrasted sharply with Ron’s white skin.
“The chair’s not working.”
“What?”
“I tried moving and it wasn’t responding.”
 “It’s off.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Were you trying to go somewhere?”
“Just closer to the window.”
Ben lightly pressed the back of his hand against Ron’s cheek.
“Do you feel hot?”
 “No.”
“There’s not something pinching you, is there?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Let me check.”
It was something that he couldn’t stress enough to friends of Ron’s who would come over and sit with him while he took a break.  People had a hard time understanding how just a slight fold in the clothing could cause Ron to go into shock. Autonomic dysreflexia.  No one ever seemed to remember the name.  It didn’t matter.  What mattered is that they were aware of the signs and sweating for no apparent reason was one of them.  The most likely culprit was the catheter that permanently ran from Ron’s bladder, exited through his abdomen and ran down one of his legs. If it got pinched, Ron’s bladder wouldn’t empty and the body reacts; Ron would have no idea that it was happening. Ben kept detailed instructions on the refrigerator of symptoms and possible causes but he wondered if anyone ever read them.
“Everything okay?”
“The tube is.”
He unsnapped the strap that he just placed around Ron, let it drape to the sides and then unhooked the chair’s upper belt that held Ron upright.
“What are you doing?  Getting me totally undressed?”
“Twice a day is plenty.”
Ben pulled Ron forward, his forehead rested against his caregiver’s chest.
“You all right?”
“Just hurry up and finish.”
He worked his hands down the back of Ron’s shirt, extending further over to fell beneath his pants.
“A little wrinkled, but nothing that should be causing any problems.”
 “Good.”
“Probably just a bit excited, huh?”
“Probably.”
Ben pushed Ron back up, secured the wheelchair belt, refastened the large strap and tucked the blanket around Ron.
“Okay.”
“Finally done messing with me?”
“I think so.”
“Good.  Let’s go.”
“Yeah. Let’s do it,” Ben said, wiping Ron’s face with the washcloth one last time before they headed for the garage.

Copyright © 2012 Philip Zweig

28 Feb 2012: Re-railed

I was reminded yesterday by John that the last time I posted was 10 February.  It has been a trying past couple of weeks.  To re-rail, one had to derail, and it was quite a train wreck.

Some of it was due to dismantling the story line as I had it three weeks ago and having it sprawled out all around me on the floor, trying to figure out how to put it back together.  I wasn't too concerned that I would meet the challenge of that task; it was much like cleaning out a closet or room and having belongings all over the bed and floor and thinking what kind of mess have I gotten myself into.  But, slowly, by picking up one piece at a time, order is restored.

I would talk about the story line that I did have and what I have now but I know that there are many folks following the blog who would rather I not give away the ending.  So, suffice it to say that the story line has changed DRAMATICALLY!  In the process, I have interviewed several people, including a Vietnam vet, a judge, a lawyer, a financial adviser as well as friends.  I am very happy with what I have now and it seems to be holding water very well.

Having the story line secured under my belt has suddenly solidified my two main characters.  They now know where they are headed and what their mission in the novel is. 

The other major cause of my derailment was physical.  Doing PT for the disc bulge in my neck was at first causing considerable pain.  Old sciatic problems that I had under control flared up and staying away from a bike all contributed to a deep emotional low.  The knowledge that the disc bulge was greatly affecting my physical activity seeped slowly into my system and it was hard to accept.  So, I had the falling apart of the story line coincide with the discovery of how severe the disc problem was and that was no fun. 

The good news is that a neck traction device I got yesterday from PT seems to greatly help relieve pressure on the disc.  The other good news is that I feel I'm back on track with the story.  I have reworked scene one and I'm in the process of reworking scene two.  From the outside, the changes won't appear that dramatic from what has already been posted.  I was very eager to keep the core or the beginning scenes that I had established as they felt like a very good start.  But, just as small jet thrusters on a space capsule can greatly alter the path and course of the vehicle, the changes in these first two scenes are similar course adjustments, sending the story in the direction that it needs to go. 

And, of course, there have been changes going on behind the scenes which most of the public is not aware.  It's as if we are witness to a rocket launch and we follow the rocket in it's first few hundred miles into space but we have no idea what its final destination is.  Down below, at control center, the powers that be have suddenly decided that instead of heading for Venus, the spaceship will now head for Mars.  The initial launch is still basically the same but the destination is now quite different.  Same with the novel.

If all goes well, I may post the reworked first two scenes today.  After that, I will let them stand and move on to scene three. 

BTW:  Rachel asked me why I called them scenes instead of chapters.  One, I think of chapters as being longer chunks.  Two, scenes just seem more apt as we are getting a glimpse of one basic event.  And, three, I guess it may have something to do with the fact that I have a playwriting background and think in those terms.

Okay.  Enough distraction.  Back to work!

Friday, February 10, 2012

10 Feb 2012: Makeover

Update.

Very interesting.

Just when I think the case is solved new developments come into play - and very interesting developments indeed!

Last night and this morning I was working on scene three.  I know scene two needs work, everything needs work as this is still a work in progress, but I was forging ahead to see where the story was going.  But, after having a conversation with a cohort, I'm re-examining the situation; not necessarily going back to square one, but pretty close.

Of course, I can't say too much but I will say that the plot as I had in mind is probably changing dramatically and that the characters and their relationship will be changing considerably.  Same characters, but new, improved, enhanced personalities! 

Look for Scene One - Take 3 coming soon in blogs near you.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

7 Feb 2012: Scene Two

(Scene Two will make more sense with the amended first paragraph for Scene One below.)

Ron sat quietly, dutifully, outwardly complacently staring out the large window that stretched across the rear wall of the living room and studied the hills over a mile off in the distance while Ben performed his ritual of lightly tugging and straightening and smoothing out Ron’s pant legs, stopping at times to pick off specks of lint or dust.
Ron wondered what it might take to convince Ben to drive him to a remote spot in those distance woods, allow him to disembark from the van and then have Ben drive off.  The thought was quickly dismissed as being a completely unfair request to ask of Ben, yet still, it gave him some hope a fleeting moment of feeling still in control of his own destiny. 

II

“There it is,” Ron said as they came down the quiet country road; a small bridge with steel and concrete roadbed panels stood before them.
Ben brought the van to a stop about twenty feet short of the crossing.  With the vehicle still in gear and Ben’s foot on the brake, the van engine hummed as they both stared out the windshield, Ben taking in the scene for the very first time while Ron, having viewed the surroundings numerous times from the seat of a bicycle, digested an entirely new perspective.
Ben allowed his gaze to wander to the creek that ran underneath the bridge to the small red house that sat about a hundred yards down the road to the left; Ron’s gaze remained fixed on the bridge, seeking answers.
“Let’s go ahead and park,” Ron finally said.
Ben lifted his foot from the brake and the van moved on its own volition across the bridge; the distinct sound of tires on grate reverberated through the vehicle as it slowly made its way to the other side.  Just past the bridge, a dirt road came out from the right.  Ben pulled in, turned the van around and maneuvered into a position where he could park and lower the ramp.
“I think this angle will be all right,” Ben said, more to himself than to Ron.
“Seems to be.”
Ben began the process of unhooking the straps that held the wheelchair in place.  Sometimes, the straps gave Ron a sense of security when he would hear them ratcheted taut and an aura of angst would overcome him when they were released as if the chair would suddenly roll and pin him inside the van.  Today, with his caregiver’s head just beneath him and reaching around Ron to release the straps’ hold, Ben was his savoir, smashing his shackles that entrapped him inside a dungeon. 
“I got it,” Ron said before Ben could ask and Ron began the to and fro process of going forward and backward to align the chair with the ramp that led down the van to the dirt road.  Ben stood at the ready in case Ron’s steering was errant as he went down, always prepared to use his heft to heave against the five hundred plus pounds of chair and flesh if it should begin to ride over the rim. 
While Ben locked up the van, Ron looked down the dirt road that quickly curved off to the left.  Ron turned his chair and eyed Ben inside the van then turned his chair to face back down the road.  Would death come quickly exposed to the elements? Shock, hypothermia.  Maybe even coyotes, but probably not.
“Ready?” Ben asked.
“Yep.”
Ron turned and bumped his way along the road to the pavement with Ben walking right alongside, watching Ron’s head bobbing with every bit of gravel the chair went over.
“You all right?”
“I will be.”
A few seconds later they were on the asphalt and Ron headed straight for the bridge, parking his chair in the middle of the road.  He studied the two steel grate panels that were sandwiched between the three slabs of concrete on the bridge’s road surface; Ben took brief glimpses in between checking their flank for any approaching vehicles.  
Ron moved forward, rumbling slowly across the grate.  Light reflected from the creek water below and poked erratically through the grid like a strobe.  Ron tried to push the harsh glare aside and focused on the crack that ran between the metal grate and concrete panel. Sometimes it was imperceptibly narrow, the two surfaces practically touching, while other times the gap widened to what seemed to be just the right amount to trap the wheel of a road bike.  
They reached the end of the bridge and Ron turned again, facing the bridge from the other end.
“What stupidity.” Ron said.
“What? The construction?”
“No. Me.”
“How can you say that?”
“It’s obvious.  I know this bridge.  I know its dangers.  How could I have let myself get distracted enough to allow a wheel to get trapped in there?”
“You don’t know what happened.”
A long, long silence. Ben looked from the bridge and studied.  He was increasingly worried with Ron’s mood that morning and questioned more and more the wisdom of coming out there.  Maybe nine months after the accident was too soon. A few more minutes, Ben thought, and they would be back on their way home.  He would make some hot chocolate, put on a movie and they could forget about this outing.  
“No.  I remember nothing.”
Ron turned and went further up the road away from the bridge.  
“Where are you going?”
Ron said nothing and continued his trek down the road.  Ben knew better than try and argue. He followed suit, periodically checking the road behind them as they made their way further and further away from the bridge. 
The road curved gently to their right while also slowly gaining in altitude.  About a quarter of a mile up, the road began to curve to the left.
“You know.  We have a van back there.  We don’t have to walk all the back to town.”
“Who’s walking?” Ron answered.
Ron continued climbing until they reached the elbow of the curve where, if they went any further, the bridge would disappear from view.  Ron stopped and turned to take in the view of the road leading down to the bridge.  The blind curve above them made Ben nervous.
“So. You remember anything?” Ben asked.
“No. Not a damn thing.”
“That’s what I’m saying. It could have been a dog chasing and distracting you.  Maybe a car passing on the bridge, even sideswiping the bike and forcing you into the crack.”
“Maybe.”
“Being here isn’t bringing anything back?”
“No.  The last thing I remember is going to bed the night before.”
Together, they continued to gaze down at the bridge below and then Ron moved over to the other lane, stopping in the narrow grassy shoulder with a guardrail separating Ron from the slope that ran down to some thickets and the creek beyond that.
“What’s over there?” Ben asked.
“The creek.”
Ben took a position uphill of the chair between Ron and the blind curve that was above them. A ridge with a limestone bluff rose up across on the other side of the creek.
“It’s pretty,” Ben said.
“Yes.  This was one of my favorite routes.”
They watched as a hawk rode the thermals through the creek valley, gliding out of view to their left.  
Buzzards, Ron thought.  He wasn’t very keen on being pecked at by buzzards.
“What’s that?” Ron asked.
“Where?”
“Down there. In the brush.”
Ben followed Ron’s gaze and caught sight of a glimmering reflection twinkling in the thick stand of creek saplings.
“Looks like a gold chain,” Ben said.
“That’s what I was thinking.”
Ron continued to watch the light dancing about but Ben looked back across at the bluff, admiring a cedar whose roots clung tenaciously in a crack in the wall face while the tree grew vertically up seeming to defy gravity.
“Why don’t you go check that out,” Ron said.
“What?”
“The chain.”
“You want me to go down there?”
“Yes.”
“Why? Are you missing a chain?”
“No.  But my interest is piqued.  You never know what curio may end up downstream.”
 It was the most animated Ben had seen Ron all day or all week for that matter.
“All right.”
Ben had Ron turn more parallel to the guard rail before he climbed over it and cautiously made his way down the slope.  More than once he slipped in the thick grass and landed on his bottom before finally reaching the thicket.  From down below he could not see Ron and Ben did not like the idea of leaving Ron alone tightly squeezed against a guard rail on a blind curve; he was not liking this wild goose chase.
“Ron!” Ben called out.
From above, Ron called back but his voice barely carried.
“I’ll be right there.”
Ron said something else but Ben had no idea what it was.
He looked around for the dangling charm, surprised that he was having trouble spotting it.  From above, Ben could hear a vehicle coming down the hill around the blind curve.
“Oh, great,” he muttered and contemplated making a mad dash back up the hill but knew the car or truck or whatever would be long gone before he made any sizeable dent in the climb.
“Ron!” Ben called out again, not even sure why and then thinking all it did was distract Ron from hearing the approaching vehicle.
“Damn it!” Ben muttered as he listened to the sounds up above and hoped all he would hear was the shearing of wind.
Ben looked again toward the thicket, wanting to get back up as quick as possible.  The wind blew and the curio caught the sun, hanging about twenty feet away.  Ben made his way to it while keeping an ear to the vehicular activity above.  He looked up and paused in his stride as he caught a glimpse of the top of a pickup passing beyond the guardrail.  He waited a moment longer; no screeching brakes, crunching of metal or objects flying through the air.  Ben sighed deeply and took the few last remaining steps toward the treasure.
“Shit,” he muttered.  He held the bright and shiny and what even could pass gold plated fishing lure in the palm of his hand; it certainly wasn’t worth a trip down the hill, Ben thought.
From above he could hear Ron.
“Yeah.  One minute,” he called back.
Ben tried to pull the lure out of the branches to take back to Ron but the line was too strong.  He reached for his knife strapped to his belt and as he was reaching for it, down below, poking out from the large debris pile from a past flood that had accumulated within the thicket, was the unmistakable skeletal remains of a human hand.  


copyright © 2012 Philip Zweig

Monday, February 6, 2012

6 Feb 2012: Scene One - Take 2

I can't say that I have one definitive way of writing.  Normally, I like to forge ahead and get scenes down before going back to rewrite.  However, as I'm still working on the personality of the characters and their interaction with each other, particularly Ron and Ben, rewriting Scene One felt important before moving on.

Scene One – Take Two



Ron sat quietly, dutifully, outwardly complacently staring out the large window that stretched across the rear wall of the living room and studied the hills over a mile off in the distance while Ben performed his ritual of lightly tugging and straightening and smoothing out Ron’s pant legs, stopping at times to pick off specks of lint or dust.
Ron wondered what it might take to convince Ben to drive him to a remote spot in those distance woods, allow him to disembark from the van and then have Ben drive off.  The thought was quickly dismissed as being a completely unfair request to ask of Ben, yet still, it gave him some hope a fleeting moment of feeling still in control of his own destiny. 
“Ben,” Ron said, still staring out.
“Yes.”
“That’s green coming in, isn’t it?
Ben looked up and gazed out the window as well. 
“Where?
“On those hills.”
Ben looked at Ron and back out the window.
“Yes.  The trees are starting to leaf.”
“That’s what I thought.”
Ben looked back at Ron, studied his face, his eyes, his nostrils that flared ever so slightly with each breath.
“You okay?”
“Yes.  Just having a bit more trouble with colors than usual today.”
Ben gazed on Ron a moment longer before giving a final touch to Ron’s pant leg.
“Did you tell Beth?” Ben asked.
“Tell her what?”
“Where we’re going?”
‘No.”
Ben followed gaze out the window shared a moment looking out.
“Do you know what kind they are?” Ron asked.
“What?”
“The trees, turning green.”
“I don’t know.  Maybe elms.”
Ben turned from the window and then back to picking at a stubborn piece of lint.
“You don’t want to tell her?” Ben asked.
“No. I’d rather not.”
Ben finished with Ron’s pants then stepped around to the rear of the wheelchair and pulled out a large strap in the sack hanging down. He deftly slipped the band through Ron’s arms, across his chest and secured Ron to the chair.
Ron coughed slightly, his chest struggling to work the muscles to force a more strenuous expulsion.
“Too tight?”
“No,” Ron said between coughs.
“You know, we don’t have to go today,” Ben said, checking the belt with his large hands, making certain that the strap had not trapped a fold in Ron’s sweater that was pressing against his chest.
A touch of spittle emerged from the corner of Ron’s mouth.  Ben grabbed a tissue from the table nearby and dabbed at the clear phlegm.
 “I’m fine.  I want to go.”
“You’re sweating.”
“Am I?”
“I’ll be right back.”
“All right.”
Ron moved his hand to get his fingers in a position to push against the joystick that would move his wheelchair forward.  He kept pushing at the stick but the chair did not move.  He pursed his lips, sighed and looked back out the window. 
Ben returned with a damp washcloth and gently ran it across Ron’s forehead and then over his entire face.
“The chair’s not working.”
“What?”
“I tried moving and it wasn’t responding.”
Ben looked down at the joystick and the adjoining LED display.
“It’s off.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Were you trying to go somewhere?”
“Just closer to the window.”
“We’ll be going in a minute.”
“Good.”
“But, I don’t like how you’re still sweating. Do you feel hot?”
 “No. I guess I’m just getting excited.”
“There’s not something pinching you, is there?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Let me check.”
Ben removed the blanket and checked to see if Ron’s catheter was caught beneath his leg. 
“Everything okay?”
“The tube is.”
Ben unsnapped the belt that he just placed around Ron , let it drape to the sides and then unhooked the chair’s upper belt that held Ron upright.
“What are you doing?  Getting me totally undressed?”
“Twice a day is plenty.”
Ben pulled Ron forward, letting Ron’s head rest against Ben’s chest, the coarse knit of his shirt pressing against Ron’s forehead. Just inches away, behind the shirt, Ron could smell the barrel, hair-covered chest of his caregiver.
“Oomph.”
“Okay?
“Yes.”
Ben kept Ron’s head leaned against his chest as he worked his hands down the back of Ron’s shirt. 
“A little wrinkled, but nothing that should be causing any problems.”
Ben reached further forward and reached his hands down under Ron’s pants.  One more feel along both edges of Ron’s pants and a final run of his hands along the back of Ron’s shirt.
“Okay.”
“Everything good?”
“Yeah.  Like you said…
“Just nerves.”
Ben pushed Ron back up.
“Oomph.”
“Again with the oomph.”
“I like the oomph.  The oomph is good.”
“Hmm.”
“What now?”
‘You’re tilting.”
Ben leaned over, reached both hands down and grabbed the back edges of Ron’s pants along the belt line. He gave a quick tug which shifted Ron in his chair.  Ben stood back and reviewed his work.
“Much better.”
“Good.  Let’s go.”
“Yeah. Let’s do it,” Ben said, re-securing Ron into the wheelchair and wiping Ron’s face with the washcloth one last time.

 copyright © 2012 Philp Zweig

Saturday, February 4, 2012

4 Feb 2012: Scene One

Below is the opening of the book as it now stands.  Please feel very free to give feedback.  Especially interested in hearing if the scene is engaging and makes you want to read more.  I am very good at taking criticism so no polite stuff, please. 

I



Ron sat quietly, staring out the large window that stretched across the rear wall of the living room and studied the hills far off in the distance while Ben performed his ritual of lightly tugging and straightening and smoothing out his pant legs, stopping at times to pick off specks of lint or dust.
“There’s some green coming in,” Ron said, still staring out.
“Yeah.  I know.  My nose knows.  My sinuses knows.”
“Already?”
“I can tell you what is coming into bloom just by how inflamed I get.”
“No.”
“Elm and hack berry are the culprits right now.”
Ben gave one last brush of Ron’s pants and reached for the large strap in the sack hanging down from the rear of Ron’s wheelchair. He deftly slipped the band through Ron’s arms, across his chest and secured Ron to the chair.
“Not too bad right now.  But in another week…” Ben turned and went through a coughing fit.
“Are you sure it’s not your smoking?”
“Nah.  The hack berry.”
Yeah. Right.”  Ron turned from Ben, letting him finish his coughing spell on his own and continued to study the hills. 
Still coughing, Ben picked up a fleece blanket from a nearby chair and tucked it in around Ron. 
“This going to be enough?”
“I think so.”
Ben gave the blanket a couple more tucks with his hand, straightened it out the edges and then turned his attention to Ron’s hair, giving it some light attention with a few strokes of his fingers.
“Okay. Ready?”
“Yep.  Let’s go.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“You seem tired.”
“I’m fine.  I want to go.”
“You’re sweating.”
“Am I?”
“Are you hot?”
“No. I guess I’m getting excited.”
“There’s not something pinching you, is there?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Let me check.”
Ben removed the blanket and checked to see if Ron’s catheter was caught beneath his leg. 
“Everything okay?”
“The tube is.”
Ben unsnapped the belt that he just placed around Ron , let it drape to the sides and then unhooked the chair’s upper belt that held Ron upright.
“What are you doing?  Getting me totally undressed?”
“You would like that, wouldn’t you?
“Not from you.”
I



Ron sat quietly, staring out the large window that stretched across the rear wall of the living room and studied the hills far off in the distance while Ben performed his ritual of lightly tugging and straightening and smoothing out his pant legs, stopping at times to pick off specks of lint or dust.
“There’s some green coming in,” Ron said, still staring out.
“Yeah.  I know.  My nose knows.  My sinuses knows.”
“Already?”
“I can tell you what is coming into bloom just by how inflamed I get.”
“No.”
“Elm and hack berry are the culprits right now.”
Ben gave one last brush of Ron’s pants and reached for the large strap in the sack hanging down from the rear of Ron’s wheelchair. He deftly slipped the band through Ron’s arms, across his chest and secured Ron to the chair.
“Not too bad right now.  But in another week…” Ben turned and went through a coughing fit.
“Are you sure it’s not your smoking?”
“Nah.  The hack berry.”
Yeah. Right.”  Ron turned from Ben, letting him finish his coughing spell on his own and continued to study the hills. 
Still coughing, Ben picked up a fleece blanket from a nearby chair and tucked it in around Ron. 
“This going to be enough?”
“I think so.”
Ben gave the blanket a couple more tucks with his hand, straightened it out the edges and then turned his attention to Ron’s hair, giving it some light attention with a few strokes of his fingers.
“Okay. Ready?”
“Yep.  Let’s go.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“You seem tired.”
“I’m fine.  I want to go.”
“You’re sweating.”
“Am I?”
“Are you hot?”
“No. I guess I’m getting excited.”
“There’s not something pinching you, is there?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Let me check.”
Ben removed the blanket and checked to see if Ron’s catheter was caught beneath his leg. 
“Everything okay?”
“The tube is.”
Ben unsnapped the belt that he just placed around Ron , let it drape to the sides and then unhooked the chair’s upper belt that held Ron upright.
“What are you doing?  Getting me totally undressed?”
“You would like that, wouldn’t you?
“Not from you.”
Ben pulled Ron forward, letting Ron’s head rest against Ben’s chest.
“Oomph.”
“You’re fine.”
“I know.  I just like to say that.”
“Good for your lungs.”
“I’m not so sure if your breast up my nose is.”
Ben kept Ron’s head leaned against his chest as he worked his hands down the back of Ron’s shirt.
“A little wrinkled, but nothing that should be causing any problems.”
“Like I said, just a bit excited.”
“Yeah, well…”
Ben reached further forward, squeezing Ron’s head even tighter as Ben reached his hands down under Ron’s pants.
“You’re suffocating me.”
“I’m almost done.”
One more feel along both edges of Ron’s pants and a final run of his hands along the back of Ron’s shirt.
“Okay.”
“Fine?”
“Yeah.  I think you’re just nervous.”
“That’s what I said.”
“Well, what do you know, anyhow?”
Ben pushed Ron back up.
“Oomph.”
“Again with the oomph.”
“I like the oomph.  The oomph is good.”
“Hmm.”
“What now?”
‘You’re tilting.”
Ben leaned over, reached both hands down and grabbed the back edges of Ron’s pants along the belt line. He gave a quick tug which shifted Ron in his chair.  Ben stood back and reviewed his work.
“Much better.”
“Good.  Let’s go.”
“Yeah. Let’s do it.”
Ben pulled Ron forward, letting Ron’s head rest against Ben’s chest.
“Oomph.”
“You’re fine.”
“I know.  I just like to say that.”
“Good for your lungs.”
“I’m not so sure if your breast up my nose is.”
Ben kept Ron’s head leaned against his chest as he worked his hands down the back of Ron’s shirt.
“A little wrinkled, but nothing that should be causing any problems.”
“Like I said, just a bit excited.”
“Yeah, well…”
Ben reached further forward, squeezing Ron’s head even tighter as Ben reached his hands down under Ron’s pants.
“You’re suffocating me.”
“I’m almost done.”
One more feel along both edges of Ron’s pants and a final run of his hands along the back of Ron’s shirt.
“Okay.”
“Fine?”
“Yeah.  I think you’re just nervous.”
“That’s what I said.”
“Well, what do you know, anyhow?”
Ben pushed Ron back up.
“Oomph.”
“Again with the oomph.”
“I like the oomph.  The oomph is good.”
“Hmm.”
“What now?”
‘You’re tilting.”
Ben leaned over, reached both hands down and grabbed the back edges of Ron’s pants along the belt line. He gave a quick tug which shifted Ron in his chair.  Ben stood back and reviewed his work.
“Much better.”
“Good.  Let’s go.”
“Yeah. Let’s do it.”

copyright © 2012 Philip Zweig. All rights reserved.

Friday, February 3, 2012

3 Feb 2012: Life

So, if I had been bike riding every day of this year, I would have had to ride 366 days instead of 365.  That extra day is an advantage working on the novel as it then gives a wee bit extra time.  However, I plan to be done with the novel long before December 30th.

The above paragraph was written yesterday sometime, but I know not when.  The past few days have been going by quickly as there has been quite a bit of activity.  I have managed to get in the 1,000 word quota per day since I last posted.  One day, I thought it wasn't going to happen and I was going to have to let the research that I had been doing on the book that day account for something.  But, with time closing in as bedtime approached and I was about to turn into a pumpkin, I pumped out 750 more words to meet the quote.

A fun part as well as extremely helpful activity of the writing has been to meet with people and have discussions regarding the plot.  When I visit Joe on Wednesdays, I always go over where I am in the story line.  Anne Marie added a very helpful tidbit when I mentioned a scene situation between Ron (the main character) and his lawyer. 

Yesterday, I met with Jack, Joe's caregiver and we talked for a little over an hour as he filled me in of some of his family background.  And, today, I met with Emily, whom I know from Community Meals and who is an avid mystery reader, to chew the fat over the plot as it now stands.  All these interactions keep the juices flowing and make the writing much more interesting for me; it's as if I working on an actual mystery case that needs to be solved!

The big news from these past few days which spells out the other MAJOR project for me this year has to do with Joe.  Some history...

In 2008, Joe had a spill on his bike and broke his neck.  Or so everyone originally thought.  As it turned out, he had a bone spur in a neck vertebra that pricked his spinal cord while he was on his bike, causing him to black out and take a spill.  The abrasions on his arms and face seemed to back this theory.  In June of 2009, I was planning to take my AR-GA bike ride.  I had sciatica problems going many years back but I was noticing some new tingling sensations and I thought that prudence was in order and that I should get an MRI to rule out the presence of a bone spur in my neck vertebra.  Lo and behold, I actually had one.  The neurosurgeon did say that, yes, a bad crash, on a bike or in a car, could cause the spur to pierce the spinal cord but, no, he didn't think I should not do the bike ride.  So, ride I did and had a wonderful adventure.

Move forward to this past year when I did the year-long journey.  The spur was very much in my mind and I was always keeping track of any tingling.  After the 24 hour ride, I did indeed have tingling in my hands but, hey, 24 hours of pressing on a handlebar, what else would one expect?  The tingling continued the rest of the year with tingling popping up in other areas of the body as well.  A follow up was in order.

An MRI was done Tuesday and I met with the neurologist on Wednesday.  I could tell as he entered the room after reading the MRI that things were not good.  The bone spur wasn't the issue but rather bulging discs in vertebrae 2 and 3. In a healthy image, two white lines, the spinal cord, can be seen running down the length of the spine. In my image, at 2 and 3, the white line practically disappears.  Given mild, moderate, advanced or severe as the categories of seriousness, mine is advanced; without immediate intervention I got the impression that I wasn't too far away from severe.

I met with the PT yesterday and he gave me some exercises to do.  He seemed to be shaking his head as well after he came back from seeing the MRI images.  The good news is that the bulging can be reduced with exercises and there is a head traction unit that I used when I was there yesterday that felt wonderful.  It's very compact and I believe I will be able to take one home. 

This, of course, will involve A LOT of time to do the exercises.  But, just as one of my mantras during the past year was, "Failure is not an option," the same mantra is true for being diligent with doing the exercises; not doing them would, eventually, lead to enormous negative consequences. 

This, of course, means that biking has now changed dramatically for me.  I am now looking into getting a recumbent bike as that does not put the stress on my spine as a traditional bike.

Also, I do have Joe to thank.  I'm sure it's very little consolation but his accident probably has prevented me from a similar fate. 

This means my time has now become even more squeezed.  I had hoped to increase adding photographs to this blog but I'm having trouble finding the time to just update with text.  And, the more I see the PT the more exercises I believe he will throw into the mix. 

So, life goes on and after all my meetings this week with folks I'm excited about moving forward with the novel.